I know all these photos are gratuitous, by why not? I can't help myself! It also helps ensure that family back at home (UK) aren't missing out on these precious days.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Day 4 Sienna
I know all these photos are gratuitous, by why not? I can't help myself! It also helps ensure that family back at home (UK) aren't missing out on these precious days.
Monday, February 25, 2008
What's needed for theology?
The single indispensable prerequisite for theology is the ‘Self-Revealing’ God. The word theology derives from the greek ‘theos’ and ‘logos’, being speech or rational discourse upon the subject of God. Theology always starts with God as He is both the ‘initiator’ (Gen 3:8-9) and the ‘wholly other’ (Eccl 5:1-2), and so being ontologically different from the created order, we would have nothing to say about God if He had not first said something about Himself to man.
Theology therefore is only possible because of God’s self-revelation, and consequently it is in His accommodation into our finititude in the works and oracles of God that theology can only ever find meaning. Our knowledge of God is not founded on our freedom and capacity to know God, but on God’s freedom and capacity to make Himself known to us.
As theology is dependent on God’s self-revelation, the theological task is to bear witness to this revelation through faithfulness and obedience. Faithfulness to God’s word in proclaiming and confessing the message of the Gospel, and so being witnesses of Jesus Christ, and obedience to God in our words and deeds being agents of God in this world by the power of the Holy Spirit.
How can we be faithful to God’s word and proclaim the truth of the message within?
What are the main theological methods that we can use?
The deductive approach begins with a general truth and seeks to investigate and interpret the particulars, so systematic theological principles are applied to interpret the Biblical passage being studied. However, the Bible was not written systematically, so theological systems should also be open to correction by accurate exegesis.[1]
The inductive approach begins with an investigation and interpretation of the particular facts and seeks to draw general conclusions, so it starts with a bible passage and uses it to inform systematic theology. However, in reality no-one ever approaches a bible passage free from their own prejudices. In fact, “exegetical expertise that ignores the ‘big picture (as served by systematic and historical theology) is bound to confuse old errors with ‘new insights’”.[2]
The Hermeneutical Spiral approach is the middle ground between the above two approaches, which appreciates the delicate dance between induction and deduction in theology. It is therefore the most sound method, as biblical passages should ground systematic conclusions, and equally the context of the passages within the biblical book, and the rest of Scripture should form the basis of interpretation.[3]
Whichever approach is used it should be framed by a Radical Attentiveness to the illuminating work of the Holy Spirit.
Fully dependent of God’s self revelation, the Christian mind must be characterized by holiness, as true knowledge of Christ will only ever put one in a place of humility. All humans have their own theology, even if not articulated, as their lives speak of their reaction to their confrontation of God’s self manifestation. The Christian mind which knows God, cannot be distinguished from a Christian heart, and the two should be characterized by thankfulness, prayer, praise, humility and obedience.
[1] Horton: Modern Reformation: ‘Who needs systematic theology when we have the Bible?’
[2] Ibid.
[3] Ibid.
Theology therefore is only possible because of God’s self-revelation, and consequently it is in His accommodation into our finititude in the works and oracles of God that theology can only ever find meaning. Our knowledge of God is not founded on our freedom and capacity to know God, but on God’s freedom and capacity to make Himself known to us.
As theology is dependent on God’s self-revelation, the theological task is to bear witness to this revelation through faithfulness and obedience. Faithfulness to God’s word in proclaiming and confessing the message of the Gospel, and so being witnesses of Jesus Christ, and obedience to God in our words and deeds being agents of God in this world by the power of the Holy Spirit.
How can we be faithful to God’s word and proclaim the truth of the message within?
What are the main theological methods that we can use?
The deductive approach begins with a general truth and seeks to investigate and interpret the particulars, so systematic theological principles are applied to interpret the Biblical passage being studied. However, the Bible was not written systematically, so theological systems should also be open to correction by accurate exegesis.[1]
The inductive approach begins with an investigation and interpretation of the particular facts and seeks to draw general conclusions, so it starts with a bible passage and uses it to inform systematic theology. However, in reality no-one ever approaches a bible passage free from their own prejudices. In fact, “exegetical expertise that ignores the ‘big picture (as served by systematic and historical theology) is bound to confuse old errors with ‘new insights’”.[2]
The Hermeneutical Spiral approach is the middle ground between the above two approaches, which appreciates the delicate dance between induction and deduction in theology. It is therefore the most sound method, as biblical passages should ground systematic conclusions, and equally the context of the passages within the biblical book, and the rest of Scripture should form the basis of interpretation.[3]
Whichever approach is used it should be framed by a Radical Attentiveness to the illuminating work of the Holy Spirit.
Fully dependent of God’s self revelation, the Christian mind must be characterized by holiness, as true knowledge of Christ will only ever put one in a place of humility. All humans have their own theology, even if not articulated, as their lives speak of their reaction to their confrontation of God’s self manifestation. The Christian mind which knows God, cannot be distinguished from a Christian heart, and the two should be characterized by thankfulness, prayer, praise, humility and obedience.
[1] Horton: Modern Reformation: ‘Who needs systematic theology when we have the Bible?’
[2] Ibid.
[3] Ibid.
ANGER
Here is a counseling approach for Christians and Anger, which I wrote this January.
NIV Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
NIV Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
This research paper will examine the pastoral counselling approach to enable Christians to deal with anger. Having defined anger, the source and purpose of anger will be examined, before discussing why this issue is integral to pastoral counselling from a biblical viewpoint, and modern day evidences of this. The two different types of anger will be outlined before an examination of how anger is processed, both from an unhealthy perspective, and then definitive steps given from a perspective that leads to wholeness and healing. The paper will end with the importance of relying on the Holy Spirit and will give some Biblical encouragement.
What is anger? Anger is “a feeling of displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, [or] opposition and usually shows itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of this feeling.”[1] It is also a “normal human emotion”,[2] and a “signal that is well worth listening to”.[3]
Anger is also something that God experiences. [4] God’s holiness and love give him a concern for justice and righteousness. Therefore when God sees evil, he experiences anger which motivates him towards positive and loving action to stop the evil and redeem the evildoer, [5] as his forewarning and subsequent forgiveness of the Ninevites shows in the book of Jonah.
Man, made in Imago Dei, [6] has therefore been designed to experience anger, to also stimulate him to loving and positive action in the face of evil. God has intentionally designed man to be an active moral responder,[7] and so anger is not a consequence of the Fall, but rather has been distorted by it.[8] Man’s anger has moved from being ‘theo-centric’, whereby it is a righteous reaction to sin, and expresses itself in godly ways co-existing with other godly qualities,[9] to ‘ego-centric’ whereby we ‘experience anger at anything that does not go our way.’[10]
The Bible contains much wisdom and many warnings about anger, of which a few pertinent ones have been selected. A key principle is to get rid of one’s anger[11] as it prevents us from living the righteous life that God desires.[12] The believer is commanded to not allow anger to lodge in one’s heart[13] and Jesus warns of the grave consequences of this, and how it can make one subject to judgment[14] and further warns that man is made unclean from what is contained in his heart.[15] The book of Proverbs counsels on being slow to anger, so as to prevent oneself from behaving foolishly or in a godless way,[16] and the book of James speaks of the need to tame the tongue which it describes as a restless evil.[17] Anger can also hinder prayer life, and communion with God.[18]
The destructive effects of anger are born witness to in our modern world. Unprocessed anger often leads to verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, particularly towards those with whom an intimate relationship is shared, be that spouse, child, family member, or friend. ‘The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that women in the USA sustained about 3.8 million assaults and 500,000 rapes a year in 1992 and 1993: more than 75 percent of these violent acts were committed by someone known to the victim.’[19] In addition to this, ‘research[20] suggests that child abusers were often themselves the victims of severe discipline and violence from their own parents. Aggression begets aggression.’[21] Unprocessed anger can lead to a wide variety of health problems, several chronic, and can also often lead to drink and drug abuse.[22]
Anger is a crucial issue for pastoral counselling not only in equipping the church to correctly respond to the Biblical commands about anger, but also because many of the victims and perpetrators of abuse from unprocessed anger will be members of the congregation. In order to allow individual Christians to experience wholeness and intimacy in their relationships with God, self, and others, and to be an enticing witness to the secular world, Christians need to be equipped to identify and process their anger, reclaiming it as part of God’s good creation.
There are two types of anger, ‘definitive anger’ which is a righteous response to sin and is therefore justified and theo-centric, and ‘distorted anger’ which is unjustified and ego-centric.[23] Identifying the type of anger is paramount to how one responds to it and processes it, using it for God’s good to initiate ‘a change that is needed.’[24]
The first step when experiencing anger is to accept the feeling,[25] before one consciously examines it to determine the type of anger it is, and how to respond to ‘slowly’[26]. Definitive anger often comes from a violation of a law or moral code, whereas distorted anger can come from hurt or embarrassment, stress, tiredness, or unrealistic expectations.[27] The vast majority of anger is distorted, and one only knows one has definitive anger if one can answer yes to the questions: Was a wrong committed? Do I definitely have all the facts?[28]
Key to counselling the Christian to process anger is the need to recognize the symptoms of unprocessed anger. These fall into two main categories; ‘explosive outbursts’, and ‘implosive anger’, both of which are equally damaging.[29] Explosive anger is an over-reaction to the stimulus of anger, and gives full vent to the feelings of aggression either verbally or physically, and so can often lead to abusive situations and feelings of remorse for the aggressor once the episode is over. Implosive anger on the other hand seeks to keep the anger inside. ‘It begins with silence but in time leads to resentment, bitterness, and eventually hatred, and it is typically characterized by denial, withdrawal, and brooding.’[30] Denial and brooding both allow the anger to gain a foothold in one’s heart, and can therefore be considered to be a sinful response to anger as they mean one still goes to bed angry,[31] and given time inevitably express themselves in sinful behaviour. Withdrawal is equally destructive[32] as it is a ‘passive-aggressive’ form of behaviour,[33] and over time only escalates to further passive-aggressive behaviour breaking down all lines of communication.
Both explosive and implosive responses to anger lead to wounds, not only on behalf of the person experiencing the anger, but also the people the anger is directed at. Self-esteem in all parties is ravaged, relationships break down, and marriages end in divorce. The love the Bible talks about in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 is lost amidst the hurt, and hope is extinguished. The importance of enabling Christians to process anger, and show unconditional love to self and others cannot be overstated.
Having listened to the counselee and made an accurate interpretation of their anger management style, and having taught them how to recognize ‘definitive’ and ‘distorted’ anger, one then needs to equip the counselee with the means to process their anger.
If one is experiencing definitive anger then there are two ways to process it, so that one is able to move to wholeness through forgiveness. One way is to rebuke the person, but this must be done in a loving manner with the aim of enabling the person to confess and repent so that one can extend forgiveness.[34] If the perpetrator is a Christian, then the Biblical discipline model in Matthew 18:15-17 should be followed. Alternatively it may not be appropriate or possible to rebuke the person, and so the perpetrator should be released to God for his fair judgment,[35] and then one’s own sin confessed so anger may not gain a foothold in one’s heart[36].[37] The goal of both these responses is forgiveness, not only to follow Christ’s commands,[38] but also to be able to accept the person as distinguished from their actions.[39]
If one is experiencing distorted anger, then the four step process described by Chapman is by far the most useful tool for the Christian.[40] Other Christian writers have expressed the need to repent of this sinful anger,[41] secular writers have written of the need to find outlets for aggression or stored up energy,[42] (which is worrying advice given that studies have shown it to make one more aggressive,)[43] and even though a Buddhist writer acknowledges that finding outlets for one’s anger only rehearses it,[44] the meditation and relaxation techniques prescribed,[45] though useful short-term measures for diffusing anger, do not actually process the anger, and are in reality ego-centric. I therefore find Chapman’s approach to be the most biblical in relation to the command to ‘get rid of anger’ in Ephesians 4:31, as it allows one to fully process one’s anger, and at the same time enables one to be slow to anger. Its enquiring nature with a desire to reconcile also cause it to be the most representative of the Fruits of the Spirit,[46] and the biblical definition of love.[47]
Chapman recommends the following approach:
First, share information. Tell the other person involved about your concern in a non-condemning way, and request an opportunity to talk about it. Be sure to focus on the event that stimulated your feelings, not on the person.
Second, gather information. When you properly gather the facts, you can determine whether the anger is definitive or actually distorted.
Third, negotiate understanding. Express your struggles in a non-threatening manner, requesting understanding. Then listen to the other person’s response. This two part process allows you to understand the person’s actions and for the other person to understand your feelings. This requires open, honest conversation.
Fourth, request change. This final step is optional, but it can lead to lessening many of the irritating behaviours that stimulate anger. A generally positive relationship with the other person will make them more open to such a request.[48]
In addition to this, being aware of one’s thought processes and learning how to diffuse unhealthy thought patterns which rehearse injustices mentally is another useful tool to ensure that one is not escalating or keeping one’s anger alive over a long period of time,[49] before the four step process outlined above is initiated. It is also important for one to develop the skill of assertive communication, being the middle ground between aggressive and submissive communication, where ‘the intent is neither to please or dominate, but to communicate with emotional honesty and directness.’[50]
Changing how one deals with and processes anger is a difficult and long-term process,[51] but it is important to remember that one is not alone, not only in terms of the multitude of other Christians who are struggling with this issue, but also because of the Holy Spirit. If one allows the Holy Spirit to rule our minds one will have peace and life[52] and one will show greater patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control.[53] In fact, it has been said that ‘successful anger management depends on our ability to rely on the Holy Spirit for whatever we need, wherever we need it.’[54]
If one feels that one is lacking the Holy Spirit or wisdom in this area one should ask God openly for help and one will receive it.[55] Nothing is impossible with God, and in Christ one is a new creation,[56] but just as it took time to unwrap Lazarus’ bandages to reveal him once Jesus had raised him from the dead,[57] so it will take time to reveal one’s new creation as someone who can process anger biblically. God does all things for the good of those that love him,[58] and will therefore be able to use one’s previously destructive patterns for his glory. At all times the counselee should be made aware that there is nothing that can separate them from the love of God,[59] no matter how destructive their experience of anger can be.
References:
[1] Dentemaro, C & Kranz, R: ‘Straight Talk about Anger.’ (New York. Facts on File Inc. 1995). Pp3-4.
[2] Peacock, J: ‘Anger Management.’ (Minnesota. Capstone Press. 2000). P4.
[3] Lerner, H: ‘The Dance of Anger.’ (New York. Harper and Row Publishers Inc. 1989). P1.
[4] Romans 1:18.
[5] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love: Handling Anger in a Godly Way’. (Chicago. Moody Press. 1999).
Pp19,20,26,28.
[6] Genesis 1:26-28.
[7] Jones, R: ‘Uprooting Anger: Biblical Help for a Common Problem.’ (Phillipsburg, New Jersey. R&R Publishing. 2005).P47.
[8] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ Pp22,26.
[9] Jones, R: ‘Uprooting Anger’.P29.
[10] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P25.
[11] Ephesians 4:31.
[12] James 1:19-20.
[13] Ecclesiastes 7:9.
[14] Matthew 5:21-22.
[15] Matthew 15:18-19.
[16] Proverbs 14:17,29; 16:32.
[17] James 3:1-12.
[18] Psalms 66:18; 1 Timothy 2:8; 1 Peter 3:7.
[19] Donovan, F: ‘Dealing with Your Anger.’ (Alameda, California. Hunter House Inc. 2001).P4.
[20] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.2nd Edition.’(New Jersey. Prentice-Hall Inc. 1995).P289 quoting Bandura, A: ‘Agression: A Social Learning Analysis’ (Englewood Cliffs, NJ. Prentice-Hall Inc 1973).
[21] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P289.
[22] Spielberger, C & Gentry, D: ‘When Tempers Flare.’(Orleans, Massachussetts. Parclete Video Productions. 2004).
[23] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P52.
[24] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P283.
[25] Dentemaro, C & Kranz, R: ‘Straight Talk about Anger.’ P77.
[26] Proverbs 14:17,29; 16:32
[27] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P61.
[28] Ibid.
[29] Peacock, J: ‘Anger Management.’ P12.
[30] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P79.
[31] Ephesians 4:26-27.
[32] Lester, A: ‘Coping with Your Anger.’ (Philadelphia. The Westminster Press. 1983). P58.
[33] Peacock, J: ‘Anger Management.’ P15.
[34] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P107.
[35] 1 Peter 2:23
[36] Matthew 5:21-22.
[37] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ Pp112,113.
[38] Luke 6:27, 28, 37.
[39] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P296.
[40] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P72.
[41] Jones, R: ‘Uprooting Anger’. Pp 48,51.
[42] Donovan, F: ‘Dealing with Your Anger.’ P146.
[43] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P288
[44] Hanh, T, H: ‘Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames.’ (New York. Penguin Putnam Inc. 2001).P164.
[45] Ibid., Pp213-227
[46] Galatians 5:22-23.
[47] 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
[48] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P72.
[49] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P285.
[50] Ibid., P303.
[51] Oliver, G & Oliver, C: ‘Mad About Us: Moving from Anger to Intimacy with your Spouse.’ (Minnesota. Bethany House Publishers. 2007). P111.
[52] Romans 8:5-6.
[53] Galatians 5:22-23.
[54] Vredevelt, P & Vredevelt, J: ‘Letting Go of Anger and Frustration.’(Oregon. Multnomah Publishers Inc. 2002).P 98.
[55] Luke 11:9-13; James 1:2-3,5.
[56] 2 Corinthians 5:17.
[57] John 11:43-44.
[58] Romans 8:28.
[59] Romans 8:38-39.
NIV Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
NIV Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
This research paper will examine the pastoral counselling approach to enable Christians to deal with anger. Having defined anger, the source and purpose of anger will be examined, before discussing why this issue is integral to pastoral counselling from a biblical viewpoint, and modern day evidences of this. The two different types of anger will be outlined before an examination of how anger is processed, both from an unhealthy perspective, and then definitive steps given from a perspective that leads to wholeness and healing. The paper will end with the importance of relying on the Holy Spirit and will give some Biblical encouragement.
What is anger? Anger is “a feeling of displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, [or] opposition and usually shows itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of this feeling.”[1] It is also a “normal human emotion”,[2] and a “signal that is well worth listening to”.[3]
Anger is also something that God experiences. [4] God’s holiness and love give him a concern for justice and righteousness. Therefore when God sees evil, he experiences anger which motivates him towards positive and loving action to stop the evil and redeem the evildoer, [5] as his forewarning and subsequent forgiveness of the Ninevites shows in the book of Jonah.
Man, made in Imago Dei, [6] has therefore been designed to experience anger, to also stimulate him to loving and positive action in the face of evil. God has intentionally designed man to be an active moral responder,[7] and so anger is not a consequence of the Fall, but rather has been distorted by it.[8] Man’s anger has moved from being ‘theo-centric’, whereby it is a righteous reaction to sin, and expresses itself in godly ways co-existing with other godly qualities,[9] to ‘ego-centric’ whereby we ‘experience anger at anything that does not go our way.’[10]
The Bible contains much wisdom and many warnings about anger, of which a few pertinent ones have been selected. A key principle is to get rid of one’s anger[11] as it prevents us from living the righteous life that God desires.[12] The believer is commanded to not allow anger to lodge in one’s heart[13] and Jesus warns of the grave consequences of this, and how it can make one subject to judgment[14] and further warns that man is made unclean from what is contained in his heart.[15] The book of Proverbs counsels on being slow to anger, so as to prevent oneself from behaving foolishly or in a godless way,[16] and the book of James speaks of the need to tame the tongue which it describes as a restless evil.[17] Anger can also hinder prayer life, and communion with God.[18]
The destructive effects of anger are born witness to in our modern world. Unprocessed anger often leads to verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, particularly towards those with whom an intimate relationship is shared, be that spouse, child, family member, or friend. ‘The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that women in the USA sustained about 3.8 million assaults and 500,000 rapes a year in 1992 and 1993: more than 75 percent of these violent acts were committed by someone known to the victim.’[19] In addition to this, ‘research[20] suggests that child abusers were often themselves the victims of severe discipline and violence from their own parents. Aggression begets aggression.’[21] Unprocessed anger can lead to a wide variety of health problems, several chronic, and can also often lead to drink and drug abuse.[22]
Anger is a crucial issue for pastoral counselling not only in equipping the church to correctly respond to the Biblical commands about anger, but also because many of the victims and perpetrators of abuse from unprocessed anger will be members of the congregation. In order to allow individual Christians to experience wholeness and intimacy in their relationships with God, self, and others, and to be an enticing witness to the secular world, Christians need to be equipped to identify and process their anger, reclaiming it as part of God’s good creation.
There are two types of anger, ‘definitive anger’ which is a righteous response to sin and is therefore justified and theo-centric, and ‘distorted anger’ which is unjustified and ego-centric.[23] Identifying the type of anger is paramount to how one responds to it and processes it, using it for God’s good to initiate ‘a change that is needed.’[24]
The first step when experiencing anger is to accept the feeling,[25] before one consciously examines it to determine the type of anger it is, and how to respond to ‘slowly’[26]. Definitive anger often comes from a violation of a law or moral code, whereas distorted anger can come from hurt or embarrassment, stress, tiredness, or unrealistic expectations.[27] The vast majority of anger is distorted, and one only knows one has definitive anger if one can answer yes to the questions: Was a wrong committed? Do I definitely have all the facts?[28]
Key to counselling the Christian to process anger is the need to recognize the symptoms of unprocessed anger. These fall into two main categories; ‘explosive outbursts’, and ‘implosive anger’, both of which are equally damaging.[29] Explosive anger is an over-reaction to the stimulus of anger, and gives full vent to the feelings of aggression either verbally or physically, and so can often lead to abusive situations and feelings of remorse for the aggressor once the episode is over. Implosive anger on the other hand seeks to keep the anger inside. ‘It begins with silence but in time leads to resentment, bitterness, and eventually hatred, and it is typically characterized by denial, withdrawal, and brooding.’[30] Denial and brooding both allow the anger to gain a foothold in one’s heart, and can therefore be considered to be a sinful response to anger as they mean one still goes to bed angry,[31] and given time inevitably express themselves in sinful behaviour. Withdrawal is equally destructive[32] as it is a ‘passive-aggressive’ form of behaviour,[33] and over time only escalates to further passive-aggressive behaviour breaking down all lines of communication.
Both explosive and implosive responses to anger lead to wounds, not only on behalf of the person experiencing the anger, but also the people the anger is directed at. Self-esteem in all parties is ravaged, relationships break down, and marriages end in divorce. The love the Bible talks about in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 is lost amidst the hurt, and hope is extinguished. The importance of enabling Christians to process anger, and show unconditional love to self and others cannot be overstated.
Having listened to the counselee and made an accurate interpretation of their anger management style, and having taught them how to recognize ‘definitive’ and ‘distorted’ anger, one then needs to equip the counselee with the means to process their anger.
If one is experiencing definitive anger then there are two ways to process it, so that one is able to move to wholeness through forgiveness. One way is to rebuke the person, but this must be done in a loving manner with the aim of enabling the person to confess and repent so that one can extend forgiveness.[34] If the perpetrator is a Christian, then the Biblical discipline model in Matthew 18:15-17 should be followed. Alternatively it may not be appropriate or possible to rebuke the person, and so the perpetrator should be released to God for his fair judgment,[35] and then one’s own sin confessed so anger may not gain a foothold in one’s heart[36].[37] The goal of both these responses is forgiveness, not only to follow Christ’s commands,[38] but also to be able to accept the person as distinguished from their actions.[39]
If one is experiencing distorted anger, then the four step process described by Chapman is by far the most useful tool for the Christian.[40] Other Christian writers have expressed the need to repent of this sinful anger,[41] secular writers have written of the need to find outlets for aggression or stored up energy,[42] (which is worrying advice given that studies have shown it to make one more aggressive,)[43] and even though a Buddhist writer acknowledges that finding outlets for one’s anger only rehearses it,[44] the meditation and relaxation techniques prescribed,[45] though useful short-term measures for diffusing anger, do not actually process the anger, and are in reality ego-centric. I therefore find Chapman’s approach to be the most biblical in relation to the command to ‘get rid of anger’ in Ephesians 4:31, as it allows one to fully process one’s anger, and at the same time enables one to be slow to anger. Its enquiring nature with a desire to reconcile also cause it to be the most representative of the Fruits of the Spirit,[46] and the biblical definition of love.[47]
Chapman recommends the following approach:
First, share information. Tell the other person involved about your concern in a non-condemning way, and request an opportunity to talk about it. Be sure to focus on the event that stimulated your feelings, not on the person.
Second, gather information. When you properly gather the facts, you can determine whether the anger is definitive or actually distorted.
Third, negotiate understanding. Express your struggles in a non-threatening manner, requesting understanding. Then listen to the other person’s response. This two part process allows you to understand the person’s actions and for the other person to understand your feelings. This requires open, honest conversation.
Fourth, request change. This final step is optional, but it can lead to lessening many of the irritating behaviours that stimulate anger. A generally positive relationship with the other person will make them more open to such a request.[48]
In addition to this, being aware of one’s thought processes and learning how to diffuse unhealthy thought patterns which rehearse injustices mentally is another useful tool to ensure that one is not escalating or keeping one’s anger alive over a long period of time,[49] before the four step process outlined above is initiated. It is also important for one to develop the skill of assertive communication, being the middle ground between aggressive and submissive communication, where ‘the intent is neither to please or dominate, but to communicate with emotional honesty and directness.’[50]
Changing how one deals with and processes anger is a difficult and long-term process,[51] but it is important to remember that one is not alone, not only in terms of the multitude of other Christians who are struggling with this issue, but also because of the Holy Spirit. If one allows the Holy Spirit to rule our minds one will have peace and life[52] and one will show greater patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control.[53] In fact, it has been said that ‘successful anger management depends on our ability to rely on the Holy Spirit for whatever we need, wherever we need it.’[54]
If one feels that one is lacking the Holy Spirit or wisdom in this area one should ask God openly for help and one will receive it.[55] Nothing is impossible with God, and in Christ one is a new creation,[56] but just as it took time to unwrap Lazarus’ bandages to reveal him once Jesus had raised him from the dead,[57] so it will take time to reveal one’s new creation as someone who can process anger biblically. God does all things for the good of those that love him,[58] and will therefore be able to use one’s previously destructive patterns for his glory. At all times the counselee should be made aware that there is nothing that can separate them from the love of God,[59] no matter how destructive their experience of anger can be.
References:
[1] Dentemaro, C & Kranz, R: ‘Straight Talk about Anger.’ (New York. Facts on File Inc. 1995). Pp3-4.
[2] Peacock, J: ‘Anger Management.’ (Minnesota. Capstone Press. 2000). P4.
[3] Lerner, H: ‘The Dance of Anger.’ (New York. Harper and Row Publishers Inc. 1989). P1.
[4] Romans 1:18.
[5] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love: Handling Anger in a Godly Way’. (Chicago. Moody Press. 1999).
Pp19,20,26,28.
[6] Genesis 1:26-28.
[7] Jones, R: ‘Uprooting Anger: Biblical Help for a Common Problem.’ (Phillipsburg, New Jersey. R&R Publishing. 2005).P47.
[8] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ Pp22,26.
[9] Jones, R: ‘Uprooting Anger’.P29.
[10] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P25.
[11] Ephesians 4:31.
[12] James 1:19-20.
[13] Ecclesiastes 7:9.
[14] Matthew 5:21-22.
[15] Matthew 15:18-19.
[16] Proverbs 14:17,29; 16:32.
[17] James 3:1-12.
[18] Psalms 66:18; 1 Timothy 2:8; 1 Peter 3:7.
[19] Donovan, F: ‘Dealing with Your Anger.’ (Alameda, California. Hunter House Inc. 2001).P4.
[20] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.2nd Edition.’(New Jersey. Prentice-Hall Inc. 1995).P289 quoting Bandura, A: ‘Agression: A Social Learning Analysis’ (Englewood Cliffs, NJ. Prentice-Hall Inc 1973).
[21] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P289.
[22] Spielberger, C & Gentry, D: ‘When Tempers Flare.’(Orleans, Massachussetts. Parclete Video Productions. 2004).
[23] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P52.
[24] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P283.
[25] Dentemaro, C & Kranz, R: ‘Straight Talk about Anger.’ P77.
[26] Proverbs 14:17,29; 16:32
[27] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P61.
[28] Ibid.
[29] Peacock, J: ‘Anger Management.’ P12.
[30] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P79.
[31] Ephesians 4:26-27.
[32] Lester, A: ‘Coping with Your Anger.’ (Philadelphia. The Westminster Press. 1983). P58.
[33] Peacock, J: ‘Anger Management.’ P15.
[34] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P107.
[35] 1 Peter 2:23
[36] Matthew 5:21-22.
[37] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ Pp112,113.
[38] Luke 6:27, 28, 37.
[39] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P296.
[40] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P72.
[41] Jones, R: ‘Uprooting Anger’. Pp 48,51.
[42] Donovan, F: ‘Dealing with Your Anger.’ P146.
[43] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P288
[44] Hanh, T, H: ‘Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames.’ (New York. Penguin Putnam Inc. 2001).P164.
[45] Ibid., Pp213-227
[46] Galatians 5:22-23.
[47] 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
[48] Chapman, G: ‘The Other Side of Love.’ P72.
[49] Miller, W & Jackson, K: ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors.’ P285.
[50] Ibid., P303.
[51] Oliver, G & Oliver, C: ‘Mad About Us: Moving from Anger to Intimacy with your Spouse.’ (Minnesota. Bethany House Publishers. 2007). P111.
[52] Romans 8:5-6.
[53] Galatians 5:22-23.
[54] Vredevelt, P & Vredevelt, J: ‘Letting Go of Anger and Frustration.’(Oregon. Multnomah Publishers Inc. 2002).P 98.
[55] Luke 11:9-13; James 1:2-3,5.
[56] 2 Corinthians 5:17.
[57] John 11:43-44.
[58] Romans 8:28.
[59] Romans 8:38-39.
Egg, water and the Trinity?
The analogy of the egg or water is a useful starting point in a discussion of the Trinity, but as with all analogies, they are ultimately inadequate in describing the nature accurately of the Divine Being; who is one in essence (undivided and eternally existing), and yet three subsistences (each of which possesses the fullness of the divine being co-equally and co-eternally).
God’s oneness and threeness are all parts of his ‘essence’, that which makes a being precisely what it is and not something else. Equally, God has three subsistences, which can be understood as ‘essence in existence’, each subsistence being a distinct instance of a given essence. Or more simply put, God is the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, but the Father is not the Son (and vice versa), nor is the Son the Holy Spirit ( and vice versa), and nor is the Father the Holy Spirit ( and vice versa). They are distinguished intrinsically and not individually. They exist only in relation to each other. The Father generates the Son, and the Son is begotten of the Father. The Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son (as per the Western view of the Intrinsic Relationship).
There is a clear distinction of the three and yet they are unified in terms of their activity. The actions of God can be done by all three persons.
Attribute or Activity: Father/Son/Holy Spirit
Eternality: Ps. 90:2 /John 1:2; Rev. 1:8, 17 /Heb. 9:14
Omniscience: Jer. 17:10 /Rev. 2:23 /1 Cor. 2:11
Omnipresence: Jer. 23:24 /Matt. 18:20 /Ps. 139:7
Truth: John 7:28 /Rev. 3:7 /1 John 5:6
Creation of the world: Ps. 102:25/ Col. 1:16 /Gen. 1:2; Job 26: 13
Creation of humanity: Gen. 2:7 /Col. 1:16 /Job 33:4
Baptism of Christ: Matt. 3:17 /Matt. 3:16/ Matt. 3:16
Death of Christ: Heb. 9:14/ Heb. 9:14 /Heb. 9:14
Therefore the Unity in the Trinity is a result of the activities of each person. As Gregory of Nyssa aptly states in Trinity,
The holy Trinity works every activity according to the manner stated, not divided according to the manner stated, not divided according to the number of the hypostases [subsistences], but one certain motion and disposition of goodwill occurs, proceeding from the Father through the Son to the Spirit.
And illustrates this in relation to the activity of divine oversight,
Thus we are not able to name as three those who bring to bear on us and all creation jointly and inseparably this divine power and activity of oversight….The principle of the power of oversight and beholding in Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is one. It starts off from the Father as from a spring; it is effected by the Son, and by the power of the Spirit it completes its grace.
Correspondingly, our knowledge of the Trinity is not the result of a separate apprehension of the Father, then Son, then Holy Spirit. We apprehend God as one in three persons. We pray to the Father in the name of the Son, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
This is why all analogies are inadequate, as it is impossible to describe the fullness of the uncreated creator with analogies from creation. The example of the egg falls short, as the shell, white, and yolk must each contain the fullness of the egg in themselves, which they do not. Equally the example of water is inadequate as water cannot be liquid, solid and gas all at the same time.
God’s oneness and threeness are all parts of his ‘essence’, that which makes a being precisely what it is and not something else. Equally, God has three subsistences, which can be understood as ‘essence in existence’, each subsistence being a distinct instance of a given essence. Or more simply put, God is the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, but the Father is not the Son (and vice versa), nor is the Son the Holy Spirit ( and vice versa), and nor is the Father the Holy Spirit ( and vice versa). They are distinguished intrinsically and not individually. They exist only in relation to each other. The Father generates the Son, and the Son is begotten of the Father. The Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son (as per the Western view of the Intrinsic Relationship).
There is a clear distinction of the three and yet they are unified in terms of their activity. The actions of God can be done by all three persons.
Attribute or Activity: Father/Son/Holy Spirit
Eternality: Ps. 90:2 /John 1:2; Rev. 1:8, 17 /Heb. 9:14
Omniscience: Jer. 17:10 /Rev. 2:23 /1 Cor. 2:11
Omnipresence: Jer. 23:24 /Matt. 18:20 /Ps. 139:7
Truth: John 7:28 /Rev. 3:7 /1 John 5:6
Creation of the world: Ps. 102:25/ Col. 1:16 /Gen. 1:2; Job 26: 13
Creation of humanity: Gen. 2:7 /Col. 1:16 /Job 33:4
Baptism of Christ: Matt. 3:17 /Matt. 3:16/ Matt. 3:16
Death of Christ: Heb. 9:14/ Heb. 9:14 /Heb. 9:14
Therefore the Unity in the Trinity is a result of the activities of each person. As Gregory of Nyssa aptly states in Trinity,
The holy Trinity works every activity according to the manner stated, not divided according to the manner stated, not divided according to the number of the hypostases [subsistences], but one certain motion and disposition of goodwill occurs, proceeding from the Father through the Son to the Spirit.
And illustrates this in relation to the activity of divine oversight,
Thus we are not able to name as three those who bring to bear on us and all creation jointly and inseparably this divine power and activity of oversight….The principle of the power of oversight and beholding in Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is one. It starts off from the Father as from a spring; it is effected by the Son, and by the power of the Spirit it completes its grace.
Correspondingly, our knowledge of the Trinity is not the result of a separate apprehension of the Father, then Son, then Holy Spirit. We apprehend God as one in three persons. We pray to the Father in the name of the Son, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
This is why all analogies are inadequate, as it is impossible to describe the fullness of the uncreated creator with analogies from creation. The example of the egg falls short, as the shell, white, and yolk must each contain the fullness of the egg in themselves, which they do not. Equally the example of water is inadequate as water cannot be liquid, solid and gas all at the same time.
Day 3 Sienna
Where it all began.Serious, who me?
Doesn't Shelley look gorgeous only 2 days after the birth. Jessica and I are really looking forward to Shelley and Sienna coming home on Wednesday.
Spot the difference
Day 2 for Sienna
Jess cannot get enough of Sienna. She is very affectionate and is going to make a wonderful big sister. I think that Sienna will have an easy time at school, as Jess is already highly protective of her.Even a child can discern the sheer wonder of God's design and loving creation in such a small and precious little hand, with perfectly formed fingers and nails.
Jess shows her delight at being a big sister. High 5s all round.
Words cannot express how blessed and thankful I feel for these two precious lives that have been entrusted to me to look after.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
When Jess met Sienna
Her first look at her little sister, Sienna, whom Jess insists on calling Sophie, as it's better!
"What's she called?"
What a beautiful day, new life, 23rd Feb 2008
The Doyle girls, I'm really outnumbered now....
Sienna looks identical to Jess at birth, minus my bushy eyebrows. At least we'll be able to tell them apart now when they're older.
The professional
Sienna Grace Doyle
Born at 13:12pm, on 23rd February 2008, weight 7lb 4oz. Length 20.25 inches. Sienna Grace Doyle.
About 1 minute old with Mummy, who was amazing throughout.
30 minutes old. Watch her first look at the world unfold...
She was greeted by my big nose and a camera. Terrifying.
Jess, feeling excited.
What a tiring first hour of life.
Thank you Lord!!!!!!!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Other recent photos
Wouldn't it be great if I could work out how to rotate these pictures on this blogspot.
When watching the Wiggles is not enough.
When watching the Wiggles and dancing is not enough.
When watching the Wiggles and dancing on the trampoline is not enough.
The Thrillseeker Jess has recently been caught trying to jump off the sofa on her space hopper onto her trampoline. I also managed to just intervene the other day when I caught her sat on a small push trike at the top of a slide ready to go down. Maybe it isn't such a good idea to let her watch bull riding on Sunday night, which is her favourite show.
Watching turtles, fish and sharks at Boston Aquarium with too much hair spray.
A good nights sleep after a busy day making Daddy and Mummy feel old, cuddling her 'baby Melanie'.
Shelley putting on a brave face on the first of our 2 pre-term labour scares.
Christmas pictures
The excitement soon disappeared when Jessica realized there was a Bible inside.
Note the Alpha male pose with the knees apart.
Chris' 4oth birthday. Note the glee as he realizes that the filling is custard cream.
Jess gets ready to hit Nana in the eye with her doctor's hammer, as Chris tries to subtely 'stare out' a spider on the ceiling.
One of the calmer moments.
Welcome February
New Years Eve.
Jess enjoying the snow.
Well, the update to this site has been a long time coming. Apologies for the delay, we've had a hectic time recently and I seem to have some strange electromagnetic field around me, where every time I try and connect to the internet, our shared wireless connection fails. My mojo must be low today for it's working. We had a lovely Christmas, with Chris and Avril (Shelley's parents) visiting. Jess went into beserk mode opening her presents, and we all had a great time. It was also Chris' birthday, so we nailed him to a cross after dinner, which was nice. Chris and Avril returned to the UK on NYE and we spent the time with our close friends and neighbours, Derek and Brooke Baker. We all just sat awkwardly close on the sofa the entire night in silence, until it got to midnight, when we took the above photo.
We then went to bed at 12:01 and in true rock and roll fashion for seminary I decided to push the boat out and not clean my teeth.
The start of the new year was spent finishing up a course, and getting things ready for baby number 2, which meant moving my study from the closet to the bedroom and ferrying things to and from storage. My classes started the 4th week of January and I am studying Greek 2, learning how to do exegesis papers from the Greek New Testament, and an Educational Ministry of the Church course. The rest of the time was spent playing with Jess, either in the snow or hide and seek in the house.
Where on earth can Jess be?
Who'd have guessed it?
The bump is due 3 weeks on Monday, and poor Shelley is getting very tired and immobile. We’re all really excited to meet the new addition to our family, but are also anxious about our health getting bad as it did for Shelley and I last time. We would definitely appreciate prayers in this area, and for it to be God’s will that our baby is born healthy.
Please also pray that our house will be full of love, even despite the lack of sleep that is imminent, and that God grants us patience and gentleness with each other, for the coming time of the new addition, which qualifies as a “crisis” in counseling literature! It is our hope that Jessica will be able to share in the joy of having a new sibling, and won’t feel to unsettled.
I finally relented and started looking at the Forest results around Christmas, and was delighted to see that we were top of the league. Having since kept up to date, we now lie in fourth and are 4 points off second place and about 12 off first place. So I’m giving up on jinxing them again and will check the position in May. The Patriots had a shocker in the Super Bowl final and lost, but the Red Sox season starts soon. The Celtics continue to have the best record in the NBA although they are definitely going through a bit of a wobble at the moment. I should probably stop looking at their scores too.
Seeing that the internet connection has failed on me again as I have been writing this, I’m going to have to stop being so tight-fisted and by our own connection which should have much better reception. It might also prevent our laptop from meeting an untimely end by being stabbed with a biro.
God bless,
Andy (Shelley and Jess)
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