Daddy's Christmas Cracker

We had some photos taken of Jess recently at JCPenney, and here are the results. She's a real natural in front of the camera, just like....

And yes, that is my arm in the 'Santa Sleeve!'

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Here is the bane of my life:

Hallehuiah!

We had a foot of snow on Thursday afternoon, which was great fun to watch falling down, until 9pm, when it stopped and I had to dig our car out, which wasn't fun. If you don't dig it out there and then, the snow can freeze, and you practically need a hammer to break the ice, before you can shovel it.

Today we have marvellously high temperatures of -6C to -9C, and it's going to get a lot more snowy and cold as a 'northeaster' storms hits tonight. This can mean hurricane force winds, snow, sleet, and ice storms too.

I'm going sleding with Jess this afternoon and definitely tomorrow afternoon when it should be extra fast. She loves it which is great, but she always wants me to carry her back up the hill, which is lung-busting.

Well I finished all my papers and exams for semester yesterday. We are really proud to have got through the last 2 weeks as our car had broken down and was off the road for a week, Shelley got food-poisoning, and then I did the following week. I'm pleased to say that in both cases it was nothing I cooked. Definitely don't go for a spicy italian sub from subway, particularly a very small branch on some railway tracks in downtown Beverly. I should have known I had it coming.

We bought a mini-van off some friends today who are moving back to Florida. The timing was perfect as our normal car has broken down again, and is still leaking oil everywhere. Praise God that it is still within warranty. I'm hoping for a meteorite to fall out of the sky and 'smote' it, so I don't have the hassle of selling it in the New Year.

Things should calm down a little round the house now, and we really want to take some time and appreciated what Christmas is all about, and what it means for us here and now, in the new lives God has given Shelley and I, and the guarantee of eternal life too.

JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON, as they say.

The Bump is growing well in Shelley and is a real wriggler, more so than Jess was. We have a first and second name chosen now, but it's top secret, unless you send $5. I am still managing to withold from the Forest results, but it's much harder resisting it today now semester is over. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold off from this idol.

We started watching 'A wonderful Life' last night, but found it a bit too slow. We then decided to watch 'Norbert' with Eddie Murphy, and the best way to describe it is 'un-necessary' in every sense of the word. I've got Spinal Tap to watch this week, which will be much better. I am intending to make the most of not studying in the evenings now.

May God bless you all,

Lots of love,

Andy

Theology of prayer and personal reflections on experience

Theology of prayer at end of Mentored Ministry MM502 project.

My fundamental beliefs about prayer have not dramatically changed during this project however I do believe I have more insights into prayer, and my practice of prayer has changed, which will be discussed in the reflection paper.

I still hold the following beliefs about prayer:

God answers all prayers: some He answers ‘yes’, some He answers ‘maybe’, and some He answers ‘no’.

Although God can do all things Himself, He wants us to pray to Him for things, and in some way this ‘completes the circuit’ for how things happen. He wills it, we pray it, it is done. Praying to God acknowledges that He is the start and end of all things.

God knows our inner-most thoughts, desires, and feelings and so there is no point trying to hide these from God. We should share our feelings with Him, and if necessary confess our thoughts and desires, and at the same time to be frank about our hopes.

Prayer and particularly praise will be done continuously in the Resurrection life, while many former spiritual disciplines will pass away as we will be in the Lord’s presence. It is therefore central to our relationship with God.


Greater insights I have gained are as follows:

Prayer life is integral in ones relationship to God, and is inherently linked to worship, and scripture reading and meditation. It is where we put ourselves in the presence of God, and submit to his leading, and drink from his source of living water, filling us with his love, and enabling us to serve others under His will. It is in this communion with God, that He will most likely give guidance, and so by praying, we are better able to listen to God and so heed His word in our lives.
Therefore, prayer is very much a process by which we are transformed into the likeness of Christ-like obedience.

Prayer is essential in deepening of one’s relationship with God, and is fundamental in allowing a pastor to equip their congregation towards good works. It allows the living God to grow in you, and so gives you presence, and enables you to impact and affect people.

Prayer is a process by which we come to a more full understanding of God, and he takes our expectations of Him and ourselves, and reveals how big His plans are, and often how different they are, in relation to ours.

Lack of prayer results in spiritual undernourishment, rather than condemnation, for our salvation is based on God’s love for us.

Ones practice of prayer is a very good barometer for one’s spiritual walk. The less you pray, the more you are saying you can do things on your own without God. A devoted prayer life acknowledges God as the Lord of your life, and your dependence on Him. However, on a cautionary note, a devoted prayer life can lead to performance-based self righteousness, and so at the start of prayer it is worth remembering that we are saved by ‘faith-alone’. A devoted prayer life that does not translate into love for others or love for spouse needs reforming.

Intercessory prayer is most-effective when spirit led, and can be a very tiring and emotionally draining process, due to the empathy and yearning on behalf of others involved.

Repenting is getting in the presence of God and agreeing with Him.

Prayer is sitting down and allowing ourselves to be loved by God, and is therefore to be enjoyed rather than completed or mastered.

Reflections at end of project.

This whole project was a very rich experience for me both in terms of spiritual growth, and insights learned. During my prayer times I learnt many things about the process of prayer, God’s guidance, the notion of performance and participation, God’s mercy, and the practicalities of what prayer time works best for me. The experiences each week informed the topics of the discussions between Jim and I, and it is in these discussions that God crystallized what I had been learning.

Each time I came before the Lord I learnt something new, but rather than give an exhaustive list of all the insights I was given, I have chosen to outline the guiding principles that I have learnt which will inform my prayer life beyond this project. In large part, these correlate to the conversations Jim and I had each week.

THE PROCESS OF PRAYER

One of the key principles that I have learnt is that prayer life is a process of spiritual nourishment so that ‘one may grow up in one’s salvation’ (1 Pet 2:2). From my own practice I have learnt that it is not a means of self-justification, but rather the source from which I fill up on God’s love and so be able to extend that same grace, mercy and forgiveness to others.

I have also learnt that ministry is an impossible job, as one will never be able to succeed on one’s own merits in ‘equipping the congregation to do good works’ (Eph 4:12). Prayer is the process by which we go to God for that equipping, and also petition Him to achieve the impossible.

Prayer is also a process where we learn to discern God’s voice, and so are better able to fulfill our purpose in heeding His voice. This is essential for all Christians, and all the more so the shepherds of His flock.

GOD’S VOICE

There is a difference in God’s ‘calling’ voice and God’s ‘sustaining’ voice. You follow God’s call into ministry, but you need His sustaining voice to guide you once you accept that call, and this could be on a daily, weekly, monthly etc basis. By having structured prayer time one is putting oneself in a position for communion with God and where one can hear His voice, and so be better able to heed it.

As Calvin says in his Institutes of Religion, Book 1; ‘to know God is to know self, and so know self is to know God.’ Through this practice of prayer I have been getting better at understanding which thoughts are from God and which one’s are from Andy. I am better able to discern those from myself which may be advising me to do more and more, and tend to follow the language of ‘shoulds and shouldn’ts’, and play on guilt feelings when the high measures are not met, and those from God, which are gentle invitations to do things differently. I am therefore learning to accept that God has made me from dust, and to accept that He equips those He calls.

PERFORMANCE VERSES PARTICIPATION

At the start of this project I felt that prayer was something I ought to do, and have seen a maturation from it being dutiful, to being something that I felt I was mastering and enjoying, to something which I am enjoying without distorting it into some form of performance based satisfaction. I believe this interplay will always exist, but it has been very helpful to recognize it.

I have also realized that so far my high point in understanding God’s grace and free unconditional love came when I first accepted Jesus into my life. When I felt, “Wow! You value me that much! I want to spend more time with you.” A renewed realization of God’s love for me has helped move my prayer life from a sense of duty to delight.

Prayer is sitting down and allowing oneself to be loved by God. I found writing myself a love letter from God in place of confession a wonderful way to realize this. It affirmed the unconditional nature of God’s love for me, and that there is nothing I can do to make God love me more or less. This helped crystallize that the relationship between God and I is dependant on His relationship with me, and not the other way round.

MERCY

Just as I am able to accept that God came to Earth in human form as Jesus, I am aware that I need to accept that I, too, am human. This means not giving myself impossible standards to miss, or to try and do the impossible job of life on my own, or to deny feelings of anger and burnout, but rather in freeness to accept that I am fully loved by God.
When tired of my own sinfulness, this does not mean I need to summon up more energy to try and better myself, but rather is an invitation to surrender to Jesus and ask Him to do all things though the power of the Holy Spirit.
When feeling burn-out and angry, this is not does not mean a time of self-flagellation, but is rather an invitation from God to reschedule things and to give myself more space.
Self-rejection is not a spiritual badge of honor, but became obsolete after the Cross.


STRUCTURED PRAYER LIFE

A structured prayer life is beneficial as it allows one to spend time with God each day, without it getting squashed out by seemingly more urgent, though in reality far less important, things. It gives a structured reason to spend time with God in busy days.




OWN PRACTICE

I have found that I respond very well to the structured prayer life, and the times of 3-5pm work best for me. I have responded best to Leanne Payne’s listening prayer journal structure, which I follow, and I find the process of journaling beneficial as it helps me to be attentive at the same time as being submissive to God’s leading.

The more I have learnt about God, myself and the practice of prayer through this project, the more I realize that there is so much more to know. I will certainly keep up a structured prayer life beyond this project, and would like to develop my prayer life in terms of praise for a future project.
I have also found the discipleship that Jim has offered exceptionally helpful, and has been a core platform for spiritual growth, and this is something that I would love to continue in some way, shape, of form in the future.


My theology of prayer at the end of this project shows a much greater richness to my understanding and knowledge of prayer at the beginning, and this has largely be born out of experience. Through the practice of prayer my knowledge of God and self has also grown substantially. This whole experience has been and will continue to be extremely valuable, not just for ministry, but in the whole sphere of my life.

Listening Prayer journal methodology

I have just completed a 12 week, 10 hours per week prayer discipline that has been extremely beneficial in terms of spiritual development and knowledge of God and self. I used Leanne Payne's 'Listening Prayer journal' methodology and here it is in concise form:

DAILY PRAYER OUTLINE

1) Meditation of the Scriptures.
Meditate on text prayerfully.
Speak spontaneous words back to God (guidance, exhortation, further understanding etc) and record in ‘word’ section.
Record ‘truth’ wherever encountered.
Lord’s prayer.

2) Praise and Thanksgiving: “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name”.
Record scriptural passages, hymns, insights that give a boost into praise and thanksgiving when needed.
Keep list of current answers to prayer and other unexpected bounties.

3) Intercession: “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
Prayer for others.

4) Personal Petitions: “Give us this day our daily bread.”
Record personal petitions in the word section as they occur naturally in prayer. Record ones in this section that require further listening.
Pray for strength. Pray for wisdom. Pray for guidance.

5) Repentance and Forgiveness Prayers: “And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
· Forgive us our sins as we forgive everyone who sins against us
i. Pray life in manageable segments (new Xians esp)
· And lead us not into temptation
i. Be self controlled and alert
· But deliver us from the evil one
i. Satan defeated; repent for those sinned against us as yet unrepentant
· Prayer for enemies
i. Make them beloved. Health and wholeness. Beauty to shine from them.

6) A full committal of ourselves and our day to God: “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.”

7) Listening Prayer.

My thought: use centering prayer from lection divina.

Physical: Seating; relax muscles in sequence; listen to breathing.
Spiritual: Focus on God: pray (come Lord Jesus) as a centering prayer; pray for God’s presence and spiritual protection.

Prayer for entry into listening prayer:
Come, Holy Spirit. Come, enter deeply into this child’s heart and bring up exactly what we need to talk about. Give me the eyes to see and the ears to hear what we need to pray about, and how we are to pray.

Seek God alone, never an experience or word He may send. Not practicing a feeling, but acknowledging that God is really there.

Record answers, messages from God in word section.

Acknowledge Presence.

NIB Matthew 28:20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

NIV John 15:4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

Pray this:
There is another who lives in me- Christ, the light of the world, by whose Spirit and Word I am led into all truth, by whose Spirit I can look up to the Father, sovereign over all, transcendant, high and holy, and know Him as my heavenly Father.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for indwelling in me, for linking me to God the Father, for helping me to receive His words of love and affirmation in such a way as I find, accept, and live out my true and full identity as His beloved child, in You and through the redemption You won for me.
And may Your word, together with Your presence within, radiate up throughout my entire being, increasingly granting to me a cleansed and holy intellect, imagination and sensory feeling being. I thank you, Lord, even in this moment and in advance, for the answer to this prayer. Amen.

Who is your toddler?

Ever heard of the Baby Whisperer? Well she's written a book about toddlers which Shelley is currently reading, and it gave us a real laugh when we read the section on 'Who is your toddler?'

This is a multiple choice questionnaire with answers A-E for each question. The lettered answers are specific for different personality types. They are as follows:

A- Angel Baby, B- Textbook Baby, C-Touchy Baby, D- Spirited Baby, E- Grumpy Baby.

Jessica was extremely consistent in her personality type across the questions, and it seemed if one letter of answers had been written exactly for her. I was laughing out loud as I was reading them, as it described her perfectly. Any guesses which one she was? For those of you that have been missing out on Jess growing up, here are all the answers for her, so you can get a pretty good idea of her these days.

1. As as baby, my child

D. cried very loudly, and if I didn't attend to her, it quickly turned into a rage cry.

2. When she wakes up in the morning, my toddler

D. screams for me to come in.

3. Thinking back to her first bath, I remember that my child

D. was wild- flailing and splashing about.

4. My child's body language has been typically

B. relaxed most of the time, even as a baby.

5. When I made the transition from liquid to solid food, my toddler

D. dove right in, as if she'd been eating solid foods her whole life.

6. When interrupted from an activity she's involved in, my toddler

D. wails and kicks and throws herself on the floor.

7. My toddler displays anger by

C. having a meltdown like its the end of the world.

8. In social situations with another child or children, my toddler

D. runs around a lot and gets involved in everything.

9. At nap or bedtimes, the sentence that best describes my toddler is

D. she has to be coaxed into bed- she's afraid of missing something.

10. When brought to a new house or unfamiliar setting, my toddler

D. jumps straight in, but doesn't quite know what to do with herself.

11. If my toddler is engaged with a particular toy and another child wants to join in, she

D. immediately wants whatever the other child is playing with.

12. When I leave the room, my toddler

D. hotfoots after me.

13. When we come home from any kind of outing, my toddler

D. is often overstimulated and hard to calm down.

14. The most noticeable thing about my toddler is how

D. aggressive she is.

15. When we go to family gatherings and where there are adults and/or children my child knows, my toddler

D. jumps right into the centre of the action, especially with other children.

16. At a restaurant, my toddler

D. refuses to sit at the table for more than ten minutes, unless she's eating.

(we're lucky with two minutes, with food!)

17. A comment that best describes my toddler is

D. she's into everything- I can't take my eyes off her when she's out of the crib or playpen.

18. The comment that best describes communication between my toddler and me, since she was a baby, is

D. she asserts her likes and dislikes very clearly, physically, and often loudly.

19. When I diaper or dress my toddler, she

D. balks because she hates to lie still.

20. The type of activity or toy that my toddler likes best is

D. anything she can bash or use to make a loud noise.

Jess is definitely a Spirited Baby and I have no idea where she gets it from, and neither does Shelley.

Today Shelley put Jessica in time out as Jessica was shouting 'NO!' at Shelley and telling her off. As Shelley explained that this was rude, Jessica replied 'why you do it?' to which Shelley replied 'because I am an adult and you are a child' to which Jessica responded 'No, I am an adult' and wouldn't hear otherwise.

I must admit, that I was secretly highly impressed with her misheviousness and will.

She's gives us so much joy, and I am no longer the naughtiest in the house, which is a first in my life.

Christmas is upon us

The Christmas feeling is definitely upon us. Snow storms and sub zero temperatures are forecast from Sunday onwards.
Jess met Santa Claus (we're going American on his name so as not to confuse Jess, she has a hard enough time with Shelley and I alternating between: diaper/ nappy; trash/ rubbish; sneakers/ trainers).
Course deadlines are fast approaching.
And my driving test is Wednesday afternoon. I passed my theory test on Monday with questions such as:
How do you know if someone is vision impaired? a) they wear dark glasses, b) they have small devices in their ears, c) they are walking with a guide dog.
Naturally I got this one wrong.

My friend Derek will be in the back of the car for the test, as you need a chaparone, and the examiner is a police officer, and I'm more nervous of getting the giggles than messing up on a maneouvre. Derek owes me several embarrassing or awkward comments after I let a fart machine off next to him in the library.

God bless

andy

Thanksgiving

What a wonderful Thanksgiving we had last Thursday. We spent it with our friends Ben and Amanda McCoy (and their two boys: Josiah and Seth), and some Korean friends Dae I and Jung Ha (and their two children: Joonah and 'little man'). The McCoys cooked a huge turkey and all the traditional trimmings, such as Sweet Potato and pecan bake, stuffing, mashed potato etc. We provided the dessert pies and I had a go at making Yorkshire Puddings, and didn't do too badly for someone from Cambridge.

We were told that it is traditional to eat as much as you could, so I shocked our hosts with how much I ate. They were literally still talking about it on Saturday, and other people have approached me, commenting on how much they heard I ate. Those that know me, know I'm not a big fan of food, and so was clearly eating for cultural assimilation purposes only.

I had to go to our flat and change into some jogging bottoms mid way through the evening, not just to be more comfortable, but also because I split them when bending down to pick up Jess.

Jess had a lovely time terrorizing all the other kids, and seems to know exactly the best time to play up to inflict maximum awkwardness.

The day after Thanksgiving is the traditional time to put up decorations, and we had a lovely time doing this on Friday morning. Jess put the star on top and Shelley was the key designer, whilst my job was the lights. Such teamwork. It was great fun sharing the experience with Jess and she was really excited. Our apartment looks nice and cost now. The tree is certainly better than the 1foot one we had last year, which is now in Jess' room.

As unlikely as it may seem, this photo wasn't staged, but was how we found Jessica watching tv before she went to bed. She obviously needed some space of her own.....
The finished result.

I did three hours study on Saturday, but all in all in was a lovely and relaxing 4 days off, before the mayhem of the final 3 weeks of term. I also have a driving test (theory and actual) to take before the 16th December. The pressure is definitely on as Shelley passed both of hers first time, and if I fail one, I will never be able to comment on her driving again from the passenger seat. This will be terrible by all accounts.

Let me know how things are in your lives, God bless,

Andy

Valley of Vision

How wonderful it is to stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before us. One of my favourite Puritan Prayers:

The Valley of Vision

LORD, HIGH AND HOLY, MEEK AND LOWLY,
you have brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see you in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold your glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from the deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter your stars shine;
Let me find your light in my darkness,
your life in my death,
your joy in my sorrow,
your grace in my sin,
your riches in my poverty,
your glory in my valley.

How to use your first Reading Week, October 2007.

Take a holiday. All American diner, Chicago. You've gotta love the calories and saturated fats....